Feeling a moment
Not being half present, wondering if your body is going to work, if outside circumstances are going to stay placid enough for you to remain calm too. Not pretending to be enjoying yourself but letting a quarter of that joy in, all the time actually wondering how to best make your escape plan back to a place you feel safe-to an environment you can control.
Not turning down an invitation for a meal with a friend because you are scared food is going to make your feel ill or out of control. Not clock-watching during a family gathering, a constant undercurrent of uncertainty about how much longer your body can hold out and appear normal.
No more pretending.
Feeling a moment. Feeling every moment. Immersing yourself in it. Really feeling the grass between your toes, the warmth of the sun. Real belly-laughing at a story you are being told because you are 100% focused on it-not worrying if you are pushing yourself too hard by being there in the first place.
Feeling strength and certainty and confidence every minute of every day. Not half-investing in your world yet half expecting it all to come crashing down again and hoping you’ll survive it one more time.
Really living, taking your body and health and sense of ease in life totally for granted. Forgetting you were ever in a position to do anything but. Whether you have been sick for days, weeks, months, years or decades. Absolutely knowing that’s what life is going to be like for you now. Consistently. Permanently. That’s why this website exists. To get you there. Together. Now.
Feeling that moment. Because you deserve it. Because it your right. But most importantly-because you can.