Actually Please don’t.
I struggle with the concept of Reality these days in all honesty. I used to listen to what everyone told me, did exactly as I was told, followed every step to its logical conclusion. Until that is I got sick and was told not to expect to get better. Yeah, had a bit of a re-think with that one, well you would wouldn’t you…
What really struck me as odd is that as I eventually started to get incrementally better I was discouraged further and further. Not to expect any improvement on the results I’d seen…only to expect a back-slide from where I was now. Don’t get my hopes up, be more realistic in my expectations. Set my sites on manageable goals. None of this was said to me out of malice of course, it was all to protect me from disappointment at a later date. But I’m really very glad I didn’t choose their idea of reality after all.
See as far as I can make out, being realistic in this sense means aiming for a result as similar to present circumstances as possible. And I didn’t want a slightly improved version of my life as it was, I wanted everything. Everything I’d ever had before I’d gotten sick, and everything I’d ever dreamt of having before then but told myself I didn’t deserve. I wanted it all and more besides. And I did get to a place as good as before I was sick, and I did surpass the life I’d had then, and I am still building a life that gets bigger and better everyday. And I’m not doing it from a reasonable or logical place, I’m just sort of feeling my way there bit by bit.
So please don’t get real, please don’t listen to anyone that tells you to expect average results from yourself. Please be your own miracle, be your own cure, raise your hopes and expectations as high as they will go and dream your way there. Make yourself so busy in your fantasy world of wellness that you don’t pay attention to the statistics experts are spouting in your general direction. Get yourself to an emotional state where you feel your wellness and feel your own power and your recovery is the most real and vivid thing in your life. More real than anything else going on around you. More dominant a feeling than the sensation of being pushed around in your chair or being fed by a carer. Make it your most dominant thought throughout your day. Live and breathe it until it feels more real than anything has ever felt. Make that feeling of power the only thing that matters to you everyday. No matter who you meet that tries to tell you otherwise.
The more delusional you can be the more I rate your chances of recovery. Trust me I know. A lot of people laughed at me on my way here, called me delusional, naive, childish in my approach… funny I don’t hear any of them laughing now…