A New Resolve

It’s that time of year again. The presents have been opened, the turkey is (finally) gone, and our thoughts are turning to the end of year celebrations. To endings and new beginnings and all things inbetween. If you’re anything like me then this year has taken you nowhere you thought you’d go, and plenty of places you never expected to be. Life’s pretty good at that it seems.

Confession time: I’m not madly keen on New Years Eve, which is strange because I’m a big fan of EVERYTHING (yes I’m quite annoying like that). It worries me a bit, the whole concept of ticking off another year like its a completed chore, or a marathon to be endured. It’s taken me quite a while to figure out why but I think I’ve got it now…

When your life gets a total overhaul the way mine has over the past few years, it follows that your belief structure has to change to fit. Sometimes I don’t even realise my opinion on a subject has changed until I’m faced with it. One such belief is that I’m truly not a big fan of the concept of growing old. Having already been cared for 24 hours a day and relied on others for every basic need etc I’m really not thrilled with the concept of doing it again in 50 years or so. But that’s not even the main reason. It’s more about me living a life that can be measured in something more than Length. And I’ve realised that the only way I can do that is by living each moment as joyfully as I can, being as happy as I can be, enjoying each experience as it is happening. To me that’s how I want my life to be measured. Not in years, but moment to moment, thought by thought.

If I’d have known that I was going to get out of the wheelchair and into a place as good as the one I’m in right now then I’d have enjoyed the process. I’d have made sure I did. And I have a sneaking suspicion it would have taken me half as long and been twice as easy.

I can’t go back and change how l got here, or what it cost me to do so.I have no idea where 2012 is going to take me either. But if I have one resolution from this point on it’s to enjoy the Hell out of every moment as I’m living it. Because I can’t change the past, and the future never seems to get here anyway. So my here and now, and how much I enjoy it irrespective of where it’s taking me, well that’s the only part that interests me now, no matter what day of the year it happens to be,

C xx


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