Sweet Surrender

Sometimes I forget that I finally found a Cure that worked for me as soon as I stopped looking for it.

This seemed pretty unfortunate considering that as soon as I could sit up in bed and lift my head up I began researching treatments-and continued to do so for years. Some alleviated a few symptoms, some made me feel worse (absolute bonus), some made no difference whatsoever. And then there were my personal favourites-those that seemed to work miracles-but only for the short-term. I spent thousands of £’s and years of my life trying everything I could get my hands on. Even if something blatantly did not work for me I continued with it anyway, ignoring all instincts to do the opposite.

When the answer finally came it appeared in a really random way. I read a book and emailed the author, thinking I’d never hear back. He contacted me straight away, by phone and gave me one simple piece of advice. It was to read another book. All he would say was “read it and the answer will find you”. As this guy is pretty logical and no-nonsense the choice of book surprised me, but I read it nonetheless (though I’ll be honest if someone I’d had less respect for had suggested it ~I’d have stopped after the first page-it’s still the most random book I’ve ever read…

But read it I did. And it gave me peace. So much so that I subconsciously just stopped the incessant search for a cure. Less than a week later I was lying in bed (feeling extremely rough as per usual) when an article came on the news. I hate the News, still do. But I didn’t have the energy to change the channel, so I sat and watched. The piece I watched was for people who had been left disabled by mystery illnesses-and a cure for them. I was intrigued naturally, but didn’t want to get my hopes up having recently paid thousands of £’s for a treatment I had to fly to Central America for (in a wheelchair-don’t do it. Ever.) which cured me for a whole 6 weeks. I assumed this treatment would cost even more and be in an even more obscure location. Turns out it cost a few hundred quid-and although wasn’t practised very widely-one of the few people trained in it lived a few miles from my parents house.

Two weeks later I started the treatment. From that point on my life completely changed. The author was right, the random book was right-and I learned possibly the most significant lesson I was to carry through with me in every aspect of my life. If I really, really want something, the best thing to do is stop all the action and effort, give up the struggle and wait for it to come to me. If I do that then when it does arrive it is more perfect for me than anything I could possibly have engineered. Or like a good friend recently said to me “if you push for something all you do is move it further away from you”

If you feel like you want something so much, and have put incredible amounts of effort in, only to see no results I highly recommend just letting go of it all. Doesn’t have to be a cure for illness, could be a job, a relationship-anything really. Giving up may seem illogical-but if I hadn’t done so then the odds are I’d have never heard of the obscure treatment that was just around the corner from me the whole time…

Carrie x


One thought on “Sweet Surrender

  1. Angela Hancock-Greene says:

    wise words in deed, i agree.

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