Relationships can be confusing at the best of times-even on an even playing field. So when you throw into the mix on of the pair of you suddenly needing round-the-clock care from the other, well let’s be honest it’s far from ideal to say the least.
I can’t tell you what to do, I would never dream of doing that. You are a grown-up. Just because you spend your time on a Bed or a Chair right now, or you aren’t feeling your best doesn’t mean you don’t get to make decisions in your own life.
It is a massively complicated situation to be in. The dynamics of a relationship totally change because you totally change. Many people navigate from Wellness to illness to Wellness again and come through it stronger. Many do not. No one is to blame for this. It’s no one’s fault.
There’s no way I’m going to manage to get through every step of this Journey in this post. So I’m going to outline for you where I am now. Namely Single. Very, very, single. I wa a serial monogamist for 9 years. This was one heck of an adjustment to make.
If I could go back and tell myself anything in relation to illness and relationships that would have helped the last few years be less of a walk a very Dark Place it would be the following:
- Make sure you are with your partner for the right reasons. Staying with someone because you rely on them to help you physically and emotionally rather than because you love them is not a great place to start. At some point it will end and you will not have the buffer of them to protect you from the world, and this is terrifying even when you are well.
- True self-esteem does not come from being physically well or able. You are lovable and worthy no matter what is happening to you physically. You deserve Love. It is your right. You can still give Love so why wouldn’t you be able to receive it. Real self-esteem knows no bodily condition. It comes from within.
- You have not failed. You aren’t a burden. Give the people who truly love you a chance to do so.
- It will get better-with or without your partner. I know it may be difficult to even see where Better is from where you are right now. But it will. It’s my promise to you.
- This too shall pass.
I’m not a doctor. The information provided on this site is not a substitute for professional medical advice and care. If you have specific needs, please see a professional health care provider. Thank you.